I don’t know which one of you it was, but whoever keeps stealing my crops better stop it. Or I’ll… I’ll … shake my fist at you some more!
What am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell ya.
This year I planted my very first “garden”.
By “garden”, I mean three pots on the porch. One has lettuce, one tomatoes, one basil. The lettuce was first and was going GREAT! I had loads of it! I was so very excited! Then someone (one of those fuzzy little bastards) STOLE my lettuce. They killed one, but left two living… sort of. I let the lettuce try and grow again in hopes it would grow again. And it did return. Then the fuzzy friggin bastards stole that lettuce too! (insert me shaking my fist at them)
Finally I started to get a few tomatoes. In the mean time, I tried to stop them from getting on the porch by using the ghetto fence (used to baby proof the porch) to help with the plants. This helped, but only a bit. It is now August and I have had ONE small tomato to harvest. A single tomato. In the south. Everyone else has more tomatoes than they know what to do with and I have one, and several half eaten, gnarled, nasty tomatoes.
Thankfully, you think my basil does not taste good, and it is thriving! I have loads of basil and I love that. We have used more basil than ever before.
I now have the ghetto fence up to restrict you a little more, but still have a spot for Bubba to get outside to do her thing. I hope this will deter you enough while I still have time for a few more tomatoes. Alas, the lettuce is officially dead. I don’t actually wish you harm, that goes against everything, but I do wish you would stay the hell off my porch. You have an entire mountain of greenery to choose from, let me have my pots of greens!
Have you (the reader, not the fuzzy bastards) had any luck keeping critters off the porch – keeping them away from porch crops? I am open to suggestions because while the ghetto fence seems to be working OK, it is ugly as sin.