Literacy is Overrated

As an adult in America, I cannot dispute that being literate is critical to success in any productive member of society. It isn’t overrated for the average adult. But as a parent, I have spent my child’s entire life spelling things to avoid having to tell her something. I leave her Christmas / Birthday list on the fridge, so we can discuss it over time. I want her to be a smart, productive member of society. Really. But maybe it can be put on hold when it is convenient for me.

Going into Kindergarten, the kiddo knew all the letters and their sounds and had a pretty good list of “sight words” that she could read. Now, she is reading. Actually reading. And it is becoming inconvenient for me when I want to talk to hubby about going for i-c-e c-r-e-a-m after dinner. Now, she knows what that is and the jig is up.

My sister warned me of this. She would explain various signs in restaurants and stores to her kids, saying that they warned of children’s bad behavior and the unwanted consequences. Her kids were sure that the sign in the cart at the store said that bad children would be asked to leave – pointing out the circle with the cross through it, proving her claim. Other signs in restaurants, even in the kids menu would explain that kids had to eat their veggies.

My dear kiddo – the Bean – is a genius. It isn’t just me though. Grandparents, aunt and uncles, and many others agree. I wonder if there is a way for her to develop a lack of literacy skills, but only at our convenience. Otherwise, read on my darling girl.

Sapodilla- fun fruit adventure

Finding new fun fruit to try is getting harder, as I am making my way through several. There are fewer new ones to try, other than different varieties of the old standbys. Apparently much of the fun fruit is currently in season in Mexico. A trip to the store the other day gave me several choices of which fun fruit to try. I ended up choosing a sapodilla.



The description of juicy is accurate, the description of pear is not. I would describe the flavor of the fruit as an extremely juicy, sweet, flavor of feet. The texture is like a mix of apricot and pear.

Overall, I am not a fan. But I am glad I tried it.

Eating Like Company Is Coming

The latest, greatest food fads are usually a turnoff to me. The basics of “eat nutritious foods, not too many of them, and satisfy cravings in moderation” is what I strive for. However, I am far from following this in my life. The one I have heard a lot about lately is one that intrigues me though – “Clean Eating”.

As with most “diet fads”, it proposed a detox of sorts, to get you into the program. The detox suggests cutting out all the “bad things 100%” for a period (2 weeks seems to be the norm). The benefit of this fad is that it follows the mantra of “eat nutritious foods” – which I can get behind. However, I am not good at this for a few reasons. The biggest reason is my will-power. I will cave for the super-processed food in lieu of not eating or eating very late because I didn’t plan well, and frankly, some of them are just super tasty. I don’t do the cooking in our house (hubby is on board with making good food from scratch, but loves “food in a box” flavor on many things – as does the kiddo… two against one, and, I hate cooking.) I go through phases of good planning – but it is not consistent. At all.

So, while chatting with friends about this, I was thinking that I could do a “clean eating light” plan, aka, like when company is coming. It is kind of like your house might not be as clean as it could be, but it will do for company coming over. So, here’s my dining plan… of sorts.

I may not do the cooking, but I do the grocery shopping. I will buy the “whole foods” in all forms except bread (kid will not eat it and hubby doesn’t like it and I won’t eat a loaf of the “good” stuff before it goes bad), I can’t afford organic everything, so I don’t. My bacon is most certainly processed, but it is so tasty, I am letting that “get swept under the rug”. Breakfast can be different for all – I need something the kid will eat on a weekday in under 10 minutes when needed – let’s not try to save the world at breakfast, let’s just get out the door without the need for child services to be called, shall we? Salad dressing is another one I can make, and like better, but simply not willing to commit to all the time. I will get dressing that I know all the ingredients. I gave up on soda and don’t really want it anymore, but my tea gets a tsp of sugar. Not “natural sweetener that is not processed”, sugar. OK, honey if I am home… but on the go it is sugar.

Eating like company is coming is something I can commit to. and I am sure there are other changes to “clean” I will make along the way.

I am curious which eating fads you love or hate and why?

Tooth Fairy Beware

Dear Tooth fairy,

I thought it would be fair to let you in on some intel I got from Bean while tucking her in tonight. As you know, she is 5 years, 10 months and 4 days old. She dreams of unicorns and beams with pride when she shows us her drawings of hearts, rainbows and happy families. She loves princesses, Star Wars and her new bike. All normal little girl stuff.

This morning, when she complained of a sore tooth, I discovered that it was loose. Her smile was bright and wide while she exclaimed that you were sure to come visit. But this evening, she is plotting ways to be sure and see your body and wings. I thought this was odd phrasing, so asked about it.

She remembers seeing you on The Rise of the Guardians and knows there are many fairies that go out to collect teeth. She said that she hopes the “really old one” comes… This is the fairy warning…. She said she hopes you die under her pillow, so she can see your whole body and wings. When I suggested that this wasn’t very nice, maybe we can wish for something nicer, she said that maybe one of the babies could get stuck under her pillow, so she can keep it in a box.

Fair warning, dear tooth fairy, my kid REALLY wants to see you with her own eyes. Tread lightly. I’ll cover for you.

Love, mom

P.S. A wise person once said the hardest part about parenting is not laughing at the wrong time. Touché.

Looking Forward to Wrinkles



A girl could spend a fortune on any number of anti-aging creams, procedures and magic beans. They all promise to remove the wrinkles from your face, making you look “years younger”. What I see when I looks at women who are desperately trying to erase the hard-earned years of experience, are women who clearly don’t smile enough. 

In fairness, I am not afraid of aging and I am not old. I don’t want to be called “old” and there are times I feel my age more than I’d like to. But when I turned 40, I did it with style – no shame, no “over the hill balloons”, and more importantly, no hiding. I have more than a few gray hairs and I call them “sparkles”. I consider dying my hair, but not because I want to cover gray hair, but because I think that color looks great. 

When I look at people with wrinkles, I do notice them. Not just if the wrinkles are there or not, but where they are formed. The happy people, or the people who smile a lot, have laugh lines and crows feet. How can a person regret having such a great life that their face froze with a smile? Even when they are not smiling, you can see the happiness they have in their lives.

With that, I am adding to my bucket list “have big laugh lines” – the only way to get that is to smile and laugh often, and I want that life! 


Learning to make a snowman



When I was young, we got snow every 2 or 3 years. When we did get snow, it was short lived because the snow melted very quickly. A typical snow day agenda was:

– wake up, watch the local news for verification that our school was closed.

– go outside and begin acting like crazy people, throwing snow in the air and have a snow ball fight.

– build a snow man

– build an igloo. Well, not so much an igloo as a muddy pile of snow we then turned into a “fort wall” to barricade ourselves from the incoming snow balls.

By the next morning, most of the snow was gone except for a pile or two that survived from a snow man.

Since then, my snowman making skills have fallen. Kiddo wants nothing more out of her snow day than to build a snowman. I couldn’t fail that cute face. I tried and failed a few times. With each fail, there was much snowball fighting and sledding. Kiddo was happy with this. But finally, late in the day, we were able to do what seems like an easy task and made the flippin’ snowman. It was a small victory from this girl from the desert, but a victory none the less.

ImageHappy snow day kiddo – Mommy loves you.

61 Months


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Dearest Bean,

You have survived your first month of being 5 years old. This is in spite of your newly found sense of independence. I want you to be independent, meaning that i want you to get dressed on your own, find your coat when it is time to go, put your toys away, set the table, eat your food while sitting down. You want to be independent, meaning that you want to say “no” to anything asked of you – even if it was not a question. You have gone from the kid who was very easy to put to bed and was very cooperative to the kid who refuses to go to bed, refuses to brush your own teeth, refuses to sit down while eating and saying no to any suggestion – even when it is something you actually want to do.

I have to say that the first month showed me that I am not a fan of 5.

That is, until Daddy introduced the best princess movie ever -Star Wars.

Early in the month was the first time I ever sent you to your room. You didn’t really get it and kept coming out. Once I pulled out the “baby gate card”, you understood that when you were “sent to your room”, I was out of options of what to take away. There was a lot of talking about behavior and consequences.

When you asked Daddy if you could watch his favorite movie EVER, the stars in his eyes and love in his heart. You fell in love with the movie and particularly loved the very special princess. Finally! A princess you love that isn’t a meek little girl who is saved by a boy! Also known as, a princess I can get behind!

Before we tried Star Wars, you went to see Frozen in the theater with me. you liked the movie and I loved that the sisters saved each other and the boy was there, and a good figure, but not critical to the saving. You thought it was a nice movie, but didn’t care too much about it. With Star Wars, you were IN from the very beginning. Who knew?

About the time you started watching Star Wars, and Daddy pulled out some of his old Star Wars toys (of which there are many), your behavior improved. Daddy says that “Star Wars fixed you”. I am not ready to give full credit – I think we had something to do with it, but whatever the problem was – it is back to the awesome kid again.

On Saturdays, you have started taking swimming lessons again and also started gymnastics again. The rest of the time you are as energetic as ever and have loved doing exercise videos with me. Although your version of exercise has been doing the first one like me, then jumping and wiggling as fast as you can, touting how fast you can do it. It is still fun to have a little exercise buddy – so even though I am not “as fast” as you, it is great to have the time with you.

As always, Daddy and I love you very much and can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.

Love, Mommy

217 Days until Public Victory or Shame



A smart woman once told me that one of the best ways to reach your goal is to tell everyone you know what it is. 


It does seem odd to self-shame yourself into doing what you really want to do, but it seems that everything I’ve REALLY wanted to do and have told the world about I have done. I wanted to keep the life list going… and have managed to swim with dolphins – even though I really didn’t have an idea of how I would manage that one at the time. I said I wanted to learn to snowboard and learn to surf and all these things have managed to happen. But only when I am willing to publicly shame myself if I don’t do it. 



So here is my newest public shaming attempt at reaching my next goal. I am going to run (not walk and likely not fast) 4 miles by August 30, 2014. I’ve said this to some before, because I really want to run a particular race for cancer research locally – but this time I really mean it. I mean it enough to publicly shame myself into doing it. My goal is 217 days away and I am training – slowly. But really! 

60 Months



Dearest Bean,

If you can manage to remember this year, you will know why the letters to you have been – well, we will just say “infrequent”. You have no resemblance to a baby anymore at all. This makes me a little sad, but also very proud. Somehow, to spite all my good intentions but failed attempts at good mommying, you have grown into a great kid. Here are a few things that have been going on, since your last letter.
– You continue to take swimming lessons and continue to amaze (read, horrify) me with your brave leaps and love of the water. It is said, and I can’t agree more, that children are not given enough credit for doing amazing things. You can’t keep yourself afloat with swimming yet, but you can swim to the bottom of a 5′ pool and retrieve things from the bottom.
– Ballet has intrigued you, so in the fall I got a video of Mikhail Baryshnikov dancing in the Nutcracker. You fell in love with the story, so in the summer we started reading the story over and over again. I thought I was doing such a great job of exposing you to some culture that you had a passion for. You started taking ballet lessons and have proclaimed yourself an expert because you can do the “ballet walk”. Then we went to the local ballet company’s showing of the Nutcracker. You were mesmerized and excited – you named all the characters to me and when the Nutcracker dancer showed up in human form, you said (loudly) “LOOK, MOMMY – IT’S MIGEL BERSHNIGOFF”.
Culture lesson fail. I shooshed you and tried hard not to laugh. Really, the effort was there. I could see disappointment in your eyes when I told you that Mikhail Baryshnikov was the dancer, not the character name. I will still claim the whole thing and overall win, because you do love the story and ballet.
– You are reading more and more sight words. However, you are starting to “not try” and I am not sure if it is because you are afraid to fail or if you are too tired or what it is – I see how smart you are, even though you are trying to hide it. Instead, you are trying to get praised for things small children do and you’ve been doing for a very long time. If you can give me a tip, that would be great.
10988794305_442d867ae9– We went to Disney World! I really hope you remember it – I didn’t want to take you until you were older because I want you to remember how great it is. You had such a wonderful time – you got to meet Cinderella, Rapunzel, Pocahontas, Snow White, Belle, Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and so many other characters – although the trip was vastly different from my last trip, it was so much fun to watch Disney through your eyes. Even though we did get all the princess vomit, as I called it. My very favorite picture of you to date is when you were laughing at something silly that Goofy was doing. The photographer got the image of you, perfectly! It was exciting that you weren’t shy of meeting all the characters, as you had been in the past. I was also very amused that you wanted to ask all of them questions – my favorite is when you asked Pocahontas why the white man wanted the gold – I dont’ think she was prepared for quite the political question from such a small girl. But – she did a great job – can’t complain!

– For Halloween you wanted to be a princess (what is it with the Princesses? I ask you – I want you to strive to be a strong woman who can be as feminine as you want to be, but also know you can kick some ass when it is needed (both mentally and physically). So why, dearest Bean, do you play “Princess” and “save me” over and over again? I even tried to meet you half way with offering up princesses who are good role models for you – Mirada from Brave, Princess Leia… there is even a new one – Anna from Frozen. These are still “Princesses” – with all the frilly wonderfulness… but manage to be strong at the same time. OK, maybe Leia isn’t all that frilly… but come ON, kid… work with me! (Ok, I admit – I am trying to force a standard that isn’t what you are naturally attracted to, so clearly you are going to go the opposite direction… but again, with the tips… I’d appreciate it). Your aunt said I should go with the Princess Aurora costume because you picked it, you didn’t change your mind and could use it for dress up for the rest of time… Although she has a point, and a good one – I still had a little hope you wanted to be Rosie the Riveter – then could play dress up with her for a while. Seems she isn’t frilly enough.
– For Christmas – you got it! You anticipated Christmas and got into the full spirit of the season.  Last year you got Christmas, but really didn’t get it until it was time. This year, you were so very excited from mid-November on. Again, it is so wonderful to watch the excitement of the season through your eyes. Bonus, with the excitement came your first picture with Santa that didn’t involve me pushing you closer to him so you could be in the same picture, no tears and you even asked him a question about his reindeer and asked him for a Christmas gift. I know these are things I wish for, but I finally got it this year!

– We got to take a trip to Washington DC this year and go see the dinosaurs at the Smithsonian – you were in LOVE with the whole thing! I love how much passion you have for dinosaurs and learning about where they came from, how big they are and how they relate to us in our lives.

– Finally, for your birthday – the birthday that fills one whole hand! You asked if you could watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve. Reluctantly, Daddy and I agreed to get you up, let you watch the ball drop at our party, then send you back to bed. You were so very tired, but I could see that you were very curious what this “ball drop” thing was. Although you were so very tired, I could see that this meant something to you and would have been disappointed if you missed it. Even though you were tired, you still talk about it and I am very glad that we listened to you and let you do something we weren’t sure about. You will have to remind us of this again, I am sure. Just as you are new at this whole kid thing, Daddy and I are new at this whole parenting thing… so cut us a little slack would ya.

Your family birthday party was disappointing to you. Of course, it was on your birthday after the NYE ball drop and everyone was feeling very tired… and well… rough. One of your friends stayed the night before, so was able to come to your party. This year, you asked for your party to be at Bounce-n-Play. Initially, I didn’t see the beauty of taking you to the party, having all your friends, then leaving all the clean up there.. so we signed up. However, your family birthday party in the past has been a preview of your home birthday party with friends a few days later. There are usually games, but none planned this year. I am sorry for this, and will do better in the future.

– Since this whole “5 year old” thing has come into the house, you have been fighting a lot more. I have to say, I am not a fan. You have lost so many privileges that Daddy and I are having a hard time trying to figure out what else to take. I am not sure if you are going through a conflict of “baby to kid” and still wondering where your ever-changing boundaries are, but I do wish you would at least verbalize what you are thinking… so we have a small chance of catching up. Until then, Daddy and I must have daily conversations about what you are allowed to do or what has been taken away… sad that we can’t keep up. Maybe we will do a board with every privilege you have, then write a date on it for when you can have it again. Thankfully, you are loving all the “extra privileges” you get as a 5-year-old. You can now wash dishes (most of them) by your self, you can organize your toys by yourself (not just pick them up and put them in a pile together), you can sweep and mop (almost by yourself) and you think these are great privileges. You have also asked if you can earn extra money for extra chores. Daddy isn’t ready for all that quite yet, so we are working on it. It will come, my dear.

That is all I can think of for the time – I do hope to have more frequent updates for you as you grow and as we figure out how to parent you.

I love you very much,