The last month or so, our lovely Bean has been going through a “phase”. By “phase”, I mean she is being a jerk more frequently than I wish.

In fairness to her, there is a lot going on and I can see why she is having a hard time in general. I also know that at her age, she can’t verbalize her issues, so it comes out as a jerk language… but it still stinks as the parents of this child.

Part of her homework is to read for a certain amount of time every day. She loves to learn and she will read on her own, but on her terms. Her terms don’t happen every day, so she decided to fake it til ya make it. This is where our story begins.

I was trying to motivate her to read by offering up almost anything with words in it. Typically, when we are doing our reading every day, I will let her pick anything she wants to read. Most of the time it is one of her books, but to emphasize that she can ready anything, one time she read toy building instructions to me and that counted. This day, she didn’t want to read anything. The debate took a turn when she said that she did it already with the after school people. This isn’t impossible, but they will leave a note saying it was done – so I asked for that. Then the story changed. Then when that was question, the story changed again. You see where this is going. So the debate about what to read was turning into a “discussion” about honesty. While discussing, I looked at the chart that a grown up is supposed to sign and I was surprised to find that my name had been signed about 10 more times than I signed it.

Busted. (although, points for effort – execution was poor)

So the “discussion” was officially turning into a “you are busted, here’s your parental lecture on honesty.” This is where the meltdown began.

She started screaming about how everything is unfair. We are so mean.

Then she tooted.

All children cannot help themselves when that sound comes from anywhere, mine can only do a belly laugh when it comes from her. But since she was just getting into the swing of the fit, she was conflicted. She had to giggle. She had to scream. What to do?

She went with try really hard not to laugh and forget why she was having a fit. (points for me!) The reading did begin, although she giggled more than she read.

Lesson – if you are trying to diffuse a fight with a child – do anything you can to make them toot. Now you know. You are welcome.