Sometimes you realize long after the fact the time when your life changed. Sometimes you know the very instant. My most recent life changer was instant realization.
I went in for my regular mammogram and didn’t think anything of it. My nerves were slightly freighted when I was asked to check some “dense” tissue in a follow up mammogram. But it was the kind nurse asking if I brought anyone with me to talk to the radiologist that shook me into reality and my life just changed dramatically. 30 minutes after the talk with a radiologist saying there was something suspicious I had an appointment with a breast surgeon and a biopsy being done. It was a whirl wind, terrifying and comforting – all at the same time. I didn’t think there was any reason to bring the hubby, nothing to worry about, just a normal follow up. I didn’t know I’d want to speak to a breast surgeon that day to biopsy the “something suspicious”. But she was exactly the personality type I needed to hear the information I received. No sugar coating, no pity, just straight facts and nothing more. I am eternally great full to her for that.
24 hours later, I had an official diagnosis. Breast cancer.
With my diagnosis, I met with my surgeon and was given a lot of information about my team of doctors, waiting their turn to poke and prod. Before I knew I had a need, I have this team of doctors. In my mind they are wearing capes with boobs on the back of them. As it turns out, there are no capes, but they are all amazing people who make me feel like they know what is happening and they have my back, for all that is to come.
The worst place to turn for what to do next is the internet. The Internet can make you freak out when there is no cancer, but I had to be able to research on my own. The doc knew that and had several sites to recommend. As hubby and I were wrapping our head around this, we were sharing our news (which I have to say is equally as hard for me each time I spit it out. There isn’t an easy way and everyone has a different reaction.)
What I knew before, but was relived over and over is I am surrounded by great people. Each of my family and friends serves a very different part to my personality and no matter what my worry is, I have so many people I can call who will drop their worlds to listen to my worries. I am so very lucky to have this family (both given and chosen). I know that this diagnosis is not just on me, but on kiddo and hubby and our family is here for all of us, no matter what. I always knew this to be true, but never planned on calling in quite like this. We are so lucky.
I am grateful for doing whatever it was to give me the friends and family I need now. I am grateful for getting a team of doctors that I can believe in (and who will laugh with me when I propose the cape idea).
I am lucky.