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The most frequent blog topic starter that doesn’t have anything to do with my child or my endless household topics, is Private-i (in a good way). She is at it again. She sent me a link to Stark.Raving.Mad.Mommy. This blog is one of those I tend to like… the “I used to live an urban life and am now a rural misfit and resent it in that humorous kind of way” kind of blogger.

One of her posts was about brainwashing the children to like good music – and not whoever Disney is whoring out at the moment. You know the type. And if I know you (which I am going to claim for the moment), you hate them too. She has decided to “brainwash” the kids to like 80’s new wave and other such goodies.

I was laughing about this with Private-i, who reminded me of a story where “the boy” (elder “cool” big brother) convinced “the kid” (young impressionable sister) that the Jonas Brothers were simply uncool simply by saying so. She BOUGHT IT! I can just imagine the tears of joy welling in Private-i’s eyes.

Now I have a younger than impressionable girl, who will at some point, want to love whichever boy/boyband/irritating/bubblegumpopstar is being whored out at the time. The problem is I don’t have an older “cool” brother who can steer her in the right direction. We are doing what we can now. Hubby is in charge of education in all things metal, I am in charge of 80’s New Wave and 90’s Alternative – we are both hitting her with the singer/songwriters. But eventually, we will no longer be knowledgable in anything cool according to the child. WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT a “cool” influence who isn’t stupid enough to fall for the bubble gum tricks sure to be preying on her little mind???

Even if I think it is necessary, I can’t make myself edit her friends. Instead, I need her to be influence the other girls who may not have as dedicated of a mommy to ban bubble gum from the ears of our young.

I could interview all adults that are in her life. For example, if her 2nd grade teacher expresses any indication that the bubble gum nonsense is “cute” or “age appropriate” or in any way positive, I must immediately pull her from that class (and maybe the school, depending on the principal’s view).

Her cousins could come in handy for this process. The boys are sure to be on board, but I will have to see how the girl is turning out. Currently she is pro-bubble gum, so can’t be trusted until a complete vetting process.

It may come down to hiring a “cool” older brother stand in for long enough to get these things out of her head. The tricky part is knowing when to begin and for how long. Hiring a big brother may be expensive and I am on a limited budget. I may have to dip into her college fund to expense this.

What advice do you have on preventing bubble gum pop from entering the house?

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