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36 years ago, I was born. As you know, birthdays are a big deal to me. Not just my own, but birthdays in general. I have a firm policy (in my own mind) that people shouldn’t work on their birthdays. Since highschool, I have not worked on my birthday. It is the one day that I don’t feel bad for being selfish. It is the one day I will sleep late and not care.

This past weekend was my “celebration” weekend. All the “fam” came down and we had a grand time.  Hubby was great and was on Bean duty all night (the many times she woke up) Today, my actual birthday, started at about 3am – waking to the sound of an UNHAPPY baby. Hubby is in school today, so it is my job tonight… She finally got back down around 4, only to repeat again at 4:30. Then she slept in until 7:30. She’s had a hacking cough all weekend and has been generally not feeling well, so I was worried about her and made an appointment to go to the doctor today.

While eating dinner, one of my friends noted that I have changed a lot this year. I think she is right. I am not sure if it is good or bad – just different. I am sitting here, on my birthday, watching my sick daughter sleep and I am content. I wouldn’t turn down a week-long cruise for my birthday week, but I am content knowing that my daughter, who hardly slept all night, is finally sleeping.

Even my birthday plans changed. I really wanted to go to a corn maze and take the Bean with us (for the many photo opps that there would be). It was raining, so the one thing I wanted to do was cancelled. The selfish me would have left the child w/ dad and gone w/ her friends. But the mom in me cancelled the whole thing because it was raining and Bean was feeling bad already — therefore didn’t need to spend the day in the rain.

I knew that having a child would change my life. But, I didn’t think it would be so drastic in such a short amount of time.

My birthday wish is that my Bean gets better and sleeps all night tonight.

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