Tag Archives: absurd

Domestic Goddess

02 Tuesday Aug 2011

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For unknown reasons, I have been feeling the need to nest – sort of. Instead of nesting in the sense of bringing in new things, I have felt the need to purge all my old crap and get it out of the way. While purging, I am planning Halloween and Christmas festivities and how to use my home-grown produce in a clever and tasty way.

What happened to the girl who would be perfectly happy with a stack of stuff “over there” as long as I was reasonably certain I could find something if I needed to? What happened to the girl who doesn’t grow things¸ much less eat what is grown? OK – Halloween planning isn’t new, but Christmas planning? In August?  I can only ask one thing… WTF?

I’d blame it on the kid, except she’s been around for almost 3 years. I’d blame it on needing the space… but that isn’t a problem. Could it be my age? Other women my age don’t seem to be going this kind of crazy and men get cool cars for their midlife crisis. If this is my midlife crisis, there’d better be a fancy Corvette at the bottom of that closet I am clearing out!

Do you ever go through these phases? Is here a cure? Is it worth a fight?

Edited ‘Pulp Fiction’

19 Monday Apr 2010

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Pulp Fiction is among the top 10 movies of all time. It is a great movie, but it is not a family movie.

Samuel L. Jackson plays a guy named Jules. Jules has a foul mouth. I know this. Some of the most quotable lines come from Jules. While flipping through channels the other night, I saw that Pulp Fiction was on TV. Because the movie is so great, I wanted to watch it. I then realized why I don’t like watching movies like Pulp Fiction on channels that edit for content.

Every time Jules is talking about another person, he refers to them as “little sucker”. It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Another edit I was amused by: When talking about many piercings (all done with a needle) , they failed to mention a piercing in the female characters “private parts”, instead said it was in her “neck”. I wonder if they were thinking it would be like a Frankenstein type thing?

I opted not to watch the movie in its entirety, so I don’t know how much of the 154 minutes was edited out. My guess is AT LEAST 45 minutes.

Do you watch movies that are “edited for TV”? How about shows like ‘Sex In the City” on TBS? (Does Samantha ever speak?)

No More Laws

23 Tuesday Mar 2010

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I am no law expert, especially driving laws.  I am not even sure I could pass the written portion of the driving test without studying. Even though I don’t know the laws all that well, I am pretty sure that it is against the law to not pay attention to driving, while driving. This would include putting on your make up, reading War and Peace, making dinner, and computer programming.

I bring this up because I am confused why most states find it necessary to make laws specifying what you cannot do while driving (talking on the cell phone, texting, etc.). Do these people know that if you make a law too specific, it is easy not to break it. For example, if it is against the law to text while driving, does that mean that I can check my email? Write a dissertation on the wood sparrow’s mating habits? Proofread my blog posts? Really folks – let’s go with the general rule of paying attention to driving, while driving and that covers all the things that people should or should not be doing while sharing the road.

This is just my two cents, but I am curious what you think? Any budding traffic attorneys out there that can help us learn why we need laws this specific about driving habits?

P.S. – this post is for you CJR… I do love Corey, but the reason I haven’t posted in a while is because I’ve been on vacation – not because I was mourning Mr. Haim.

Infant Hunting License

04 Thursday Feb 2010

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This one falls squarely in the “?!?!?!” category.

Virginia Senator Creigh Deeds has passed a bill allowing for an “Infant Hunting License”.

A few talking points:

- It is for children aged 2 and above (not infants… but really, why split hairs here)to get a lifetime hunting license.

- It allows a Virginia citizen to have a lifetime hunting permit for $125 provided they pass hunter education at age 12. (they can hunt for 12 years before getting hunter education) It is sited as an investment, since a junior hunting license is $250… but it is a lifetime permit.

- Apparently there is no hunting age minimum in Virginia, but children under 12 must be supervised by a licensed adult hunter. (So we can load up the Bean and have her shoot dinner for us… as long as one of us is a licensed hunter)

- I wonder if Mr Deeds knows something about the Zombies that he isn’t sharing… which is why he wants to arm every citizen?

Discuss among yourselves. Enjoy.

Best Use for Dead Flies EVER

29 Friday Jan 2010

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I don’t know many uses for dead flies.

OK. I only know the one where they die and you throw them away. But if there are other uses, I am certain this would be my favorite.

Private-i sent me a link to a site that uses dead flies to make cartoons. It is morbid. It is gross. It is creepy. It is OUTSTANDING.

This one is my favorite – I think. The river dancing flies were a close second.

Open Question

08 Friday Jan 2010

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I am taking this idea from the Facebook status of a friend (no, I don’t want to know what color bra you have on).

It prompted me to think more about the band than I have in a long time (and now am listening to them), and made me want a Latte. That – and I hope it will make you comment :)

What flavor would a “Metallica Latte” be?

Discuss amongst yourselves. I’ll be back w/ my thoughts tomorrow.

Introducing Helga

15 Tuesday Dec 2009

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At the office, Private-i and I share a faux wall. Apparently in my absence, someone decided to move in to keep Private-i company.

Helga.

Helga is a mouse that is described as MAYBE two inches long. The reason she is named Helga is because it was decided she was female (just because). Helga was discovered by startling Private-i, causing her to choke (making her a death mouse). A death mouse has to have a good death mouse name… Helga was named.

I am going to the office on Thursday, but am hoping that Helga would have relocated by then. Private-i would like her to be part of a relocation program, vs. a relocate to the grave plan that facilities will likely perform.

How do you relocate neighbors such as Helga? Do you relocate, or do you search and destroy?

Gotta LOVE the Snuggie

10 Thursday Sep 2009

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I don’t know how many bleachers are actually being filled with Snuggie-wearing fans. I don’t know how many families are cuddling around a fire with their Snuggies.

What I do know is that I am certain that neither of my dogs would want a snuggie.

snuggieThis is a photo from my phone of the TV screen showing the Snuggie-wearing dog. I don’t get it. Do you?

9.9.9 9:09:09

09 Wednesday Sep 2009

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A lot happens on days when the date numbers have some kind of significance. Today, all the numbers are 9s. Here are 9 ways today is significant.

1 – I imagine many people are getting married today, and I wish them well. But they are throwing off the most/least popular days of the week to get married.

The internet is letting me down, but I read an article saying that Tuesday was the least common day to get married, followed closely by Wednesday. This year, thanks to 9/9/9, Wednesday will be a pretty popular day to get married.

2 -Tim Burton’s “9″ is out today – and of course I am excited and can’t wait to see it.

3 – My daughter is 8 months, 8 days old.

4 – I am sure there will be 9 million facebook updates talking about how it is 9.9.09.

5 – Babies born today will have a great birthday that won’t easily be forgotten.

6 – I am sure there will be conspiracies around it being the upside-down version of 6/6/6

7 – The circus hits San Francisco today

8 – I reach to find 9 things and voted for Augur in FOX ROCKS – http://bit.ly/YUTN4

9 – Edwin Whitney celebrates the centennial anniversary of his hit record, ‘A couple of good ones’

Absurd

09 Wednesday Sep 2009

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One of the things about moving from small town middle America to the D.C. Metro area is there is a huge difference in the income levels – as shown in style, cars, houses, everything. I’d never seen a REAL Rolls Royce, Ferrari, Maserati until moving to the east.

I also always thought it was absurd to spend a ton of money on purses and shoes. Name brands were just that to me – a name. Nothing more.

Needless to say, I’ve been getting a new purse and new shoes with regularity. But I don’t spend much on them.

A co-worker has a purse that I LOVE. It is a name brand bag and I couldn’t envision spending that much money on a purse. So I would admire her bag, and get my own purse. Then I went through purse after purse after purse. As soon as they wear out, I get a new one – spending money again. My co-workers purse still looks brand new. I’m a girl who can add. Realizing that I was getting ready to spend more on replacing my purses than getting the name brand purse to begin with, I set aside money to buy the extravagant purse.

KateI shopped online and in person for a couple of months. This weekend, I found it. It is a Kate Spade, simple, lovely, pretty, black purse. I love it.

Bonus, it was 40% off… fitting well into my budget.

Now that I have it, I feel odd. I know how much it was and feel like I can’t put it on the floor of my car. “Kate” has to have a home. I am sure I will get over that part. But for now… I just have a purse that I love. And hopefully won’t have to replace for many years to come.

absurdI am still happy with my “sport wagon” though… I don’t think I will be buying a new sports car any time soon… especially one that would fit in the DC Metro area. This picture is of a pair of Ferrari’s seen in the parking lot near Leesburg. I wonder if it is “his and hers”?

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