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Maybe you can explain something to me. I am baffled at how much crap is on TV.

This is not a post about spending quality time with your family, saving the world or inventing the next thing to make millions. This is about my desire to be a couch potato without having my normally hard to offend sensibilities shocked and what is left of my brain sucked out through my eyeballs for each passing second. It can only be explained by TV producers are actually zombies and they are eating our brains by putting these shows on TV. You watch the show, you lose brain cells the longer it is on, they eat your brains. Repeat.

It used to be that there were dedicated channels for crap. MTV had every scripted “reality” show – currently the crap “it” show is Jersey Shore. I have known people from New Jersey and they were NOTHING like these people. In fairness – they also were nothing like Tony Soprano, but at least that show was written as fiction.

Bravo used to be a channel I liked. Somewhere along the way it turned into the “Housewives of ” I don’t care about the spoiled, cocky bastards on MTV – what makes them think I care about the ones who are spoiled, cocky and have too much money that they don’t know what to do with it?

I will admit that I have watched one episode each of both Jersey Shore and Housewives of NYC. Thankfully, I recognized the zombies coming through the TV to eat my brain and stopped watching.

For those of you who have zombie plans (you know who you are) – you need to add one more thing to your list of things to make sure your homes are zombie proof… turn off the TV. You may watch some shows, but you must be extra careful about the zombie producers and don’t let them eat your brain through the TV. I will shoot you if you turn – and I don’t want to do that. I like you too much. If you need to know if the shows you watch are created by zombie producers, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is it presented as “reality” – but there is more drama in one day their lives (self created) than in the entirety of Shakespeare’s works.
  2. Their fame is created simply by being famous, but not actually for any real talent they have.
  3. You can imagine them fitting in well on an episode of Jerry Springer.

This is not an exhaustive list of questions – but something to get you started. Are there any other questions you would ask of a television show that is clearly created by zombie producers?